Gates, Gates and Racial Profiling or My Home is my Castle

Once upon a time, I was waiting for the West Portal MUNI Bus to take me to the station where I would transfer to the MUNI underground. I would get off and Fifth and Market and ride the escalators up until I was at work.

I had been waiting for a while at my stop that day. If you remember way back when, you will remember MUNI was anything but timely in those days. I amused myself by watching a cop sitting on the hill above me as car after car traveled through the stop sign. Some didn’t slow, some slowed slightly and some paused only briefly, a true California stop. What all the vehicles had in common was that no one came to a complete stop. I wondered what it would take to make this cop move from his apparent slumber to actually pull someone over and ticket them.

It was more than twenty minutes in when a man in a suit and a new SUV paused and continued on until the sirens brought him finally to a complete stop. He had paused longer than most, but he was the unlucky fellow that day. You see the man in the SUV was the first black man to travel that particular road.

This was San Francisco and Willie Brown was the Mayor of that fair City by the Bay. I was appalled by my violated sense of Justice that day, determined to take action. But fate brought me further north shortly afterwards and I did nothing…but I never forgot what I had witnessed.

Years before I was in my early twenties living in Los Angeles during the rein of Chief Darrell Gates and the Rodney King Riots. I don’t care what your political persuasion, I dare you to say you would like to have been Black and traveling by automobile through LA during those particular years. I think this place and time brought the term Racial Profiling to national attention.

Which brings me to today. You would have to have had your head under a rock recently to have not heard about Henry Louis Gates and his arrest in his own home and the subsequent remarks by President Barack Obama.  It seems this man was primarily guilty of being Black while living in an affluent neighborhood.

I have heard many people say that you do what ever cops tell you to do. If they tell you not to move, you don’t. If they tell you to lie down and put your hands behind your back, you do whether or not you’re actually guilty of anything. Well I’ll buy that but Henry “Skip” Gates was in his own castle.

I don’t know about you, but I spent some of every day nodding and grinning when I’d like to say what I really think of so-and-so. I sit through hours of impossibly stupid and pointless meetings and I am agreeable to people with twice the pay and title and half my brains. This age might be called the Age of Testing My Patience. Which is fine. I know how to shut my mouth and act on my best behavior…but my home is my castle. Let me repeat that, my home is my castle!

I do not dine in my home with people I do not care for. I do not respond to stupid questions and I certainly don’t let cops or otherwise harass me in my own home.

My home is my castle much as I assume it is Henry Louis Gates’ castle. The cops came into his home after he traveled from China and treated him like a criminal. I imagine he might have had an obnoxious traveler seated next to him on the plane for his long journey, and he probably had to nod and say nothing to the guards with guns at the airport. Then he had to remove his shoes in case he had a bomb there and wait in a line, without shoes, while he emptied his pockets and went through security where he was treated like a criminal for the temerity of believing he had a right to travel.

God knows the innumerable times he had his patience tested that day. But he was now in the safety and security of his own home and in my estimation he had to be polite to absolutely no one. In his sanctuary he was king and no one was going to come into his kingdom and question his right to be there. A man’s home is his castle after all and if that is no longer true in America today then I don’t know what were talking about.

Narcissus for VP

We were first alerted to the bird four or five months ago outside our office window by the scratching of its feet on the metal. Our bird hops on one of the cars and checks himself in the rearview mirror. Eventually, he takes to flying into one of the mirrors admiring his own reflection. Sometimes the bird does this several times a day, moving from one mirror to another, trying evermore to get closer to his own reflection. 

We have taken to calling our bird Narcissus for obvious reasons. He has orange markings like a Robin, but is smaller and less decorative than a Robin and we can’t seem to place exactly what kind of bird he is. 

Sarah Palin is like our bird. She is enamored by her own reflection. If a moderator or interviewer asks her about the world at large, she directs them to herself, avoiding the question all together. She is not interested in the World; she is interested in Sarah Palin. “Why take your eyes off me to look about you when I’m so darn smacking cute? Just look at the reflection of the person I am. Don’t you all want to gaze at me endlessly?”

And we do. Some of us gaze to figure out just what the hell is going on here. How does the mere reflection of a real person become a Vice-Presidential candidate? Others because they too, like Sarah, are completely taken with her.

I suppose this fascination speaks more about us than about our friend from Alaska. If we endlessly gaze at the reflection standing up in front of us, maybe we will forget to ask about her politics, her history, the truth of what comes out of her mouth. Maybe we will forget about the real issues at stake in this election.

I hope I am not the gonging bell alerting us to our own foolishness while the city burns unanswered. Look away, look away for your own good and the good of the country!

The "Great" Debate

So, the one and only VP debate is over and done with. The surprise of course is that Sarah Palin did not make a complete fool out of herself. I’m sorry to say, but I was looking forward to her showing herself for the candidate I feel she is. I missed the Katie Couric interview and was secretly looking forward to a rerun. But she proved herself steady and directed her answers where she wanted them to go which shows a command of herself in at least this form. 

To call her the winner of the debate is ridiculous though. Joe Binden reminded me of an adult holding the head of a child that is taking wild swings into the air, never landing a punch. We hear his voice, "stop before you hurt yourself." But there she is taking wild swings about things she knows so little about until eventually, we hope, she will exhaust herself.

Some things I’m not hearing about the debate: 

1) Sarah said several times that the American People wanted to hear the candidates in their own words speaking directly to them (or something to that end) and yet at least twice in her time on the National Stage she quoted others – which I found a bit strange and couldn’t help noticing. Her quotes were by themselves a bit strained and manipulative. 

2) Her comment on the tone of the debate and how the people of the country want to see partisanship end in Washington – All I could think about was the Republican Convention. Does anyone remember that? I was already prepared to dismiss her as a candidate based on her ideology, which is not where I want to see this country go. I was also already appalled by her revisions with facts, which I feel insults the intelligence of the public – hello I can just look it up! It is not hard to find her online in her own words supporting the bridge to nowhere that she so adamantly told us “I told the Congress thanks, but no thanks. If we Alaskans want to build a bridge, we’ll build it ourselves.” But I was not prepared for her mean spirited, sarcastic, arrogant manner. It turned me off so completely…So the new and improved Sarah was a little insulting to me.

3) Her going on how she took on the “oil” boys of Alaska irritates me. I can’t find exactly what supports this assertion, and the fact that these “oil” boys have so generously donated to her campaign makes me doubt the validity of her set of facts. In the absence of facts I have found it accurate to follow the money, which leads me to believe anything but what she is putting forward as her “Reformer” persona.

4) She did better than McCain. No one seems to be saying this. His manner in the Presidential Debate was strange and oddly dismissive, which just made me like him even less. Palin at least was respectful in this forum and the mutual respect shown for each other by both candidates spoke well to each.

I haven’t figured out her tell yet, but McCain is that he blinks his eyes non-stop when he either is extremely uncomfortable or is lying, I can’t tell which. During his debate I saw him doing this repeatedly, as well as yesterday when he was explaining why President Bush should veto the bill he voted for the night before. Bizarre! But her folksy, grinning manner was a bit bizarre to me as well, especially during the second half when it became ultimately inappropriate to me, but no constant blinking, sneering strange faces etc. 

So my final vote is the debate did not change my mind. I like Joe Biden more every time I see him. My favorite part was his response to Sarah Palin telling us of the newfound power of the VP (by Cheney and her) and his calm, confident manner of responding about the clarity of the Constitution on this manner found in Article 1. Apparently she thinks would be with the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches of the government all at once – the hell with balance of power…but I digress… 

I don’t believe it changed the minds of the McCain/Palin ticket supporters either. Only the Independents were maybe swayed but I think probably not – so in the end it was a push, no contest…we can only hope that she exhausts herself or we become exhausted by her antics.

An Interesting Choice

Sarah Palin as Vice-President of the United States of America is such a strange choice we could be second guessing those who decided on her from now until election day.

Will she withdrawal in several weeks as some have projected to be replaced by a more traditional choice? 

Is the Republican Party really that desperate to capture the mythical PUMA vote? 

Is this a hail-Mary pass to the Republican extreme right?

Is this a sign that the powers that be have tossed McCain to the curb and made him the sacrificial lamb for the last eight years?

Yes, it could go on forever and we will really never know for sure in any case.

So I say, just the facts, ma’am. Here are some facts I learned about the woman now on the Republican ticket. Sarah Palin believes creationism should be taught in school; Sarah Palin does not believe in equal pay for an equal job; She does not believe man (or woman) had a hand in global warming; Sarah Palin is against choice for woman, including the extreme cases of rape and incest.

And this is the one I want to concentrate on: Her pro-life stance. I certainly believe in her personal right to not agree with abortion and I say to everyone who doesn’t believe in abortion, great don’t have one, take that off the slate of choices in your life. 

But stay away from my right to make a choice. Keep the government out of it. Separation of Church and Government in our Constitution is there for a very good reason. 

Whether a woman becomes a mother and when is the most life defining choice she will ever make. It is more important that whom she marries, whether or not she goes to college and what college and what line of work she goes into if any. It is a permanent choice, a difficult choice and one she alone is equipped to make (or her mistake to make). And that choice will stay with her, her entire life. Make no mistake, just because it is her choice, does not make it an easy choice, quite the opposite.

And maybe that is what this is about after all. People terrified of making these really difficult choices in their own lives, so instead they give their own power away and as a consequence take away all individuals ability to choose. I don’t know about you, but I vote for the right to decide no matter how difficult that choice may prove. I vote choice.

Keep Going...Keep Going.

Last night Hillary Clinton kept going, and gave a world class speech and never was she more presidential. She had vision, history and purpose and even her critics (like me) will be hard pressed to find much to nitpick. Her invoking Harriet Tubman made the crowd go wild. “if you hear the dogs, keep going! If you see the torches! Keep going. Don’t ever stop. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going! Even in the darkest moments that’s what Americans have done, we’ve kept going.”

And that’s what Hillary Clinton has done, she has kept going. That quality seemed an attribute to me last night, but it seemed more like a downfall to me a very short two months ago. I guess all of our highest principles can turn against us if we are not careful. 

Although Hillary still has credibility issues for me, like when she was referencing the different people she met on her campaign that she’ll never forget, I found myself wondering if any of the stories were actually true Yet,  her speech was inspirational and it did make me think more highly of her than I previously did. But, what of the dyed in the wool Hillary fans, did it win them over to the Obama cause?

I can’t say, but I do believe the media is trying hard to make a story where there isn’t one. I have been unable to find one Hillary fan that was planning on not voting or voting for McCain. Her speech combined with her motion to nominate Barack tonight was very stirring and I can’t imagine anyone angry enough not to be moved by her pleas for the good of the party, the good of our children and the good of our country. 

Hillary it seems has redeemed herself by taking herself out of the way and doing something for the good of a cause bigger than her own ego. If she is strong enough to learn from the mistakes she made in her campaign, I think Hillary may keep going all the way to the White House someday, or somewhere else where no woman has gone before.

Joe Biden - The Right Stuff

Joe Biden was very visible on this first day of the Democratic National Convention in Denver and the camera found him easily. I don’t know as much as I would like about Joe Biden but the words that come up like character, public service, family oriented and a man that has always remembered from where he came as others describe him make me believe he has the right stuff. Yet I hungered for more information.

I tried to listen to his critics to see what complaints could be thrown in his direction after all those years in the Senate but have found them vague or non-existent. “He has foot and mouth disease”, which I’ve heard before but could not get specific comments he made to deserve this title. “The elections are over, Democrats picked the wrong guy. He’s old and white.” When I queried further of the complaints leveled at Senator Biden I was accused of being a smart-ass and chastised for not leaving my e-mail address, but nothing specific about the man on the ticket with Obama?

A friend of mine in local politics stated today he didn’t like Biden. I pointed out how Joe Biden answered the two greatest fears people have consistently had about Obama, specifically foreign policy and general experience. I also stated the similar backgrounds and values the two have in common. He said, “I don’t care I just don’t like the guy.”

These comments cause me concern because people do not tend to vote sense or history, but a general feeling in their guts. Of course for any critic there seemed to be more proponents of the man and his mission.

My gut tells me Joe Biden has the commitment to the people of this country that a politician aught to have, not concern for giant giveaways to friends in Big Oil or Haliburton. 

But what of Senator Biden’s voting record which is hard to mischaracterize or misrepresent? Here’s what I found out: 

Biden opposes drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and believes in finding new sources of energy; Biden believes Roe v. Wade should not be overturned; Biden voted to ban semi-automatic firearms; He supported the 2007 Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill; Biden voted to limit wiretapping in the Patriot Act; He supported implementing the 9/11 commission’s recommendations but voted to preserve habeas corpus rights; Biden is against Bush’s tax cuts for the wealthy; Biden voted for federal funding for embryonic stem cell research; Biden voted for expansion of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program; He voted for the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act; Biden drafted the Violence Against Woman Act.

Biden it seems is a Democrat, there can be no mistaking that by his record. It would be hard for Barack Obama to have choosen anyone that would change my mind about his ticket, but I am glad for this solid choice. 

It is hard to imagine headlines announcing Senator Joe Biden receiving a blow-job in the White House or speculation of a love child with the woman he admitted to cheating with on his sick wife. Maybe the choice really is one of a man of character and wouldn’t that be a nice change but if I only had his record to go on, I’m still happy about this particular choice.

America in Crisis

In the Proust Questionnaire in the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Bette Midler reveals her greatest fear, “That the greatest days of my country are past.”

It is a fear I secretly share and I believe there are many of us that probably have a similar bogeyman in our nightmares.  Suddenly it strikes me that this hidden fear is a bit like our country in one giant midlife crisis. 

We’ve been through our giddy youth, our coming of age, disillusionment and the working years. Now it occurs to us the best years may be in the past and our golden dreams of youth will never come to pass. As teenagers we are innately aware of our greatest potential as human beings and as a country and any obstacles we could see before us seem inconsequential as compared to our swelled hopes and plans. 

Life always has it own plans though doesn’t it? A President gets elected you never thought possible. Your country is attacked. Your protests to war are ignored and there’s nothing you can do about it. The middle class is chipped away at. Jobs are outsourced and houses are lost. You find yourself with leaders you can’t admire or even respect. The obstacles, if not pinning us under the immense, terrible wheel and destroying us quickly, slowly wear away at us and one day we find ourselves in a compromised position, even when we planned for anything but.

A few options open before us. There is the old standby - denial, where we can push our feelings down and go about the rest of our years unquestioning and unexamined. Our only peace will come in the few minutes when we can escape from our own mind.

Then there is the option of going on with the path we’ve begun in resignation and despair knowing we will never amount to much and worse, that we have ransomed our own ideals for a few trifles. We will rot and grow old and die without riding the high crest of potential.

We also have the option of remembering what inspired us in the first place and made our hearts beat faster. We can remember what we intended and mend our path and push towards those ideals of youth with one big difference. Now, we know the score and we know our enemies. We can live our highest purpose on our own terms not as we imagined them at sixteen, but as we clearly see them now with the wisdom and scars of our past.

Nothing sounds more bittersweet and pleading than the preamble of our Constitution:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Like a promise and a dare.

Maybe it’s not a time to go on as we have for the last eight years, we know where that path leads. Maybe it’s time for reflection and reassessment both as a country and as individuals. Maybe it’s time once again to fight for our ideals and find a way to respect both ourselves and our country.

Maybe the best years are yet to come. Just maybe...  

Propaganda Nation

There is a lot of buzz today regarding the new McCain ad comparing Barack Obama to Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton. The McCain ad claims on one hand Obama has very little experience, just celebrity, and then on the other claims he is responsible for high gas prices. Are we supposed to believe that the gas giants making record profits (again), or the current administration that blocked attempts through out its duration at alternative, sustainable energy exploration are not responsible, but the popular one term Senator from Illinois is? He must be a very powerful celebrity indeed if he is single handedly responsible for the high prices at the pump. Wow!

Then the McCain campaign turns around and accuses Obama of negative, baseless ads. I’ve listened over the last two days to the McCain campaign defending the ad and they keep pointing out that gasp*!  the foreigners like Barack Obama (the two hundred thousand that turned out in Germany), as if that is the bad, scary thing and that NO ONE in there right mind could deny Obama’s celebrity, just like Brittany and Paris.

Obama’s not popular because he offers a new direction over a failed one. He is not popular because he asks us to believe in ourselves as a nation and to get involved. He’s not popular because he reminds us that we are partially responsible for what the last eight years have brought but reminds us we can be part of the solution also if we work together. And he’s definitely not popular because he gives us hope, hope in ourselves, hope in our country and hope in the future. No, he is popular because he has…wait for it…fans.

Now that Bush’s election people have stepped in on McCain’s behalf there is definitely a stench in the air. The negative, untruthful ads have a familiar ring even if they are stooping to new lows, but can this tactic succeed today?

Propaganda has been around as long as there has been media in the form of stone tablets and maybe longer. Maybe those making up propaganda are in the oldest business in the world after media. As soon as there was a concerted effort to get the facts out, to let we the people in on the game, there has been a bigger effort to distribute lies and misinformation, but why does propaganda work?  There have always been those that have a stake in keeping the masses misinformed and ignorant and I for one don’t want those people running the country. Propaganda prays on our fear, but what exactly is that fear? Maybe it’s fear of being wrong. Would we rather live with lies and the status quo than let ourselves be fooled? Would it be worse to live with eight more years of the same than be fooled into believing something different is possible?

And who are these people that believe that Obama is responsible for high gas prices and is elitist anyway? Obama, works out at a gym! And eats healthy food – oh my God! I don’t know anyone like that. Until recently, both he and Michelle Obama were paying on their college loans and struggling. Certainly sounds like people I know.

It was reported recently that McCain’s wife Cindy had a three hundred thousand dollar American Express bill in one month. I don’t know if this is a typical bill or an extraordinary one and personally I believe Cindy to be an admirable person, but I don’t  know anyone, not anyone, that spends three hundred thousand dollars on just one bill in a month. Not one. That could qualify as elitist. 

Or is it anyone that is educated that is elitist? We can be like China during the “Cultural” Revolution and kill everyone with an education or re-educate them in prison camps. We can close our borders like China or any number of countries to weed out that horrible foreign influence. Or we can be educated media consumers.

There are real issues facing this nation and finger pointing and smearing won’t solve one of them. Maybe if we, all of us, call and let the media know this is not where we want this campaign to go or this nation to stay – we will slow down the propaganda machine.

Or maybe the better the Obama campaign does the more nasty the whole thing will get. The next ninety days will tell us both what present and what future we will choose.

Who's On First?

Opps, I didn't mean to say that...

From the beginning of this campaign, which suddenly feels like a very long time ago, McCain has been leading Obama in polls on the subjects of Terrorism and Foreign Policy and for the life of me I can't understand it.

I realize McCain has age on Obama, but is that necessarily a good thing? A 72 year old President during his first year who can't keep his facts straight...hmm, I wonder.

He also has the, "I've been a prisoner of war thing" going for him. He understands and lives in the world of wars and soldiers and prison camps. Luckily, that is not the same thing as foreign policy. Our friends and neighbors and enemies speak different languages, come from different traditions and religions and are from some other place geographically and politically in the world. This, in my opinion, requires great listening skills and the ability to find a common ground, no matter how small and build from there.

I could be wrong, but I don't believe McCain comes from the great tradition of consensus building. He has more of that paternalistic, "I know what's good for you and if you know what's good for you, you'll listen to me".

Lately, there is something else. The gaffes have been adding up and making me extremely nervous.

In Amman, Jordan the following took place at a news conference with Joe Lieberman whispering in McCain's ear with the correct information.

McCain, "Well, it's common knowledge and has been reported in the media that al Qaeda is going back into Iran and receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That's well known".

Senator Lieberman leans forward and whispers into his ear.

McCain, "I'm sorry, the Iranians are training extremists, not al Qaeda."

In an exchange with Gen. Petraeus, McCain identifies al Qaeda as a Shiite group. Another time, he spok on Good Morning American about the problems on the Iraq-Pakistan border, which does not exist.

Then there are the multiple references to Czechoslovakia, which hasn't existed since 1994. Then the confusion between Somalia and Sudan, the reference to President Putin of Germany, troops drawn down to pre-surge levels in Iraq, etc., etc., etc.

It would be one thing if this was your friend or neighbor, but this is the guy interviewing for the big job and I mean THE BIG JOB. He doesn't know what he's talking about and doesn't seem to care enough to find out.

I say we hire the guy who knows who's on first (or at least is smart enough to find out) and is not stuck in the Cold War Era.

America, Home of the Whiner?

Former Senator Phil Gramm of Texas resigned on Friday, July 21, 2008 as the top advisor and co-chair of John McCain's election efforts. Phil Gramm, the man behind the curtain of McCain's economic policy, had this to say, "We have sort of become a nation of whiners. You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline," said Gramm. "You've heard of mental depression this is a mental recession."

With gas prices eating into the cautionary spending of what's left of the middle class, and the housing bust, and unemployment, and rising food, and rising costs of everything, it was a gross misstep for Phil Gramm to make public comments such as this. "Misery sells newspapers," he also said. "Thank God the economy is not as bad as you read in the newspaper every day."

Gramm later tried to clarify his comments by saying, "the whiners are the leaders. Hell, the American people are victims, but it didn't quite come out that way in the story."

These comments make Gramm a terrible politician and a bit of an idiot but does that make him wrong? Have our leaders become whiners I wonder? It seems to me they are certainly more concerned with pointing fingers at each other and with making money than with solving the problems that face us.

And what about average Americans? I look around sometimes and secretly think to myself, what if we had to start over here from scratch? Would people land at Plymouth for a week, turn around and get right back on the ship and go back to England and crazy King George? Or worse would we grossly underestimate the realities of the situation and go off half-cocked and unprepared into the wilderness?

I know our problems are not imaginary, but what about our ability to solve them? I do believe, if we all put our talent and drive toward fixing what ails us, we could accomplish what many say cannot be done.

Maybe all this is a symptom of something deeper. I have noticed something disturbing in the work place over my career, people putting their energy into keeping their job and not in doing their job...and they seem to be the ones getting ahead.

There are many jobs, of course, where this cannot be done, but in management positions, there is a propensity for avoiding tough decisions, speaking the truth, and taking chances. The greatest job security for the rest of us is learning to keep our mouths shut when jumping up and down and screaming, "The Emperor has no clothes, the Emperor has no clothes," seems the only rational response.

Leadership, critical thinking, and vision appear sadly missing, not just among our politicians, but among people in general. I certainly do not know how to solve the countries problems, but it seems to me it starts with asking the right questions and then shutting up and listening...no whining required.

Fear Factor

On Monday, July 14, 2008 the above The New Yorker magazine cover, "The Politics of Fear", hit the newsstands. The cover immediately became a headline itself. The editors claim it is a satirical cover but the Obama campaign disagreed saying: "The New Yorker may think, as one of their staff explained to us, that their cover is a satirical lampoon of the caricature Senator Obama's right-wing critics have tried to create", said spokesman Bill Burton. "But most readers will see it as tasteless and offensive. And we agree."

Republican John McCain from Arizona called the cover "totally inappropriate and frankly I understand if Senator Obama and his supporters would find it offensive."

I like to think of myself as having an average sense of humor, above average actually, but I didn't find this funny. I had a conversation with a friend of ours recently who claimed earlier that Fox News was a reliable news source. I teased him about the "terrorist fist jab" and "Obama's baby mama" and Obama taking office on an oath over the Koran - all the things this cover was taking a swipe at. "Now that's really news", I joked, "Did they need a PHD in Journalism to come up with that?"

Honestly though, that an educated, small business man that lives in Sacramento, California (the Capital) believes that Fox News is a legitimate news organization doesn't make me laugh. That 13% of Americans believe Barack Obama is now a Muslim or grew up as a Muslim is not funny. That Harold Ford, Jr. said on The Today Showthat "Obama is not a Muslim, he is a God-fearing man, a Christian", as if Muslims are not God-fearing does not amuse me. That we have a racial problem in this country does not cause me to laugh at the people that are prejudice. Quite the opposite.

I just can't laugh at the fact that fear controls people's lives and Washington operatives use their fear for their own political agenda. It doesn't really make me feel smug and superior as the cover suggests. Maybe looking back from a distance will make it funnier and maybe it's just too soon.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself", stated Franklin D. Roosevelt in his first Inaugual Address, March 4, 1933. There are real risks and dangers in the world but none seem so big to me right now as people's own fears and misperceptions.

Getting To Know You...

I've been getting to know Barack Obama better in the last few weeks...but like any new relationship reality is setting in. He just isn't who I thought he was and I'm beginning to feel concern.

It isn't that I don't believe he is still the best candidate...he is hands down. And it's not that I'm some nave teen who doesn't understand he now has a general election to win - I do.

The country believes McCain is the safer candidate on foreign policy and terrorism. OK, so Barack needs to come out and say something strong on Iran after their Nuke test last week, I get that.

There are even some new discoveries that I approve of. The Supreme Courts decision on banning guns for instance. The Constitution of the United States would have to be changed for any other decision to be possible. Gun regulation and prevention is the way to go.

His compromise on the intelligence surveillance bill though, has me hot around the collar. "Cowed by the Bush administration's pre-election scare tactics, the Senate passed freedom-stealing FISA legislation undermining your Fourth Amendment rights.

This is not a compromise as some in Congress would have us believe. The only thing they compromised is your freedom." Writes Anthony D. Romero of the ACLU. The ACLU plans to sue over the legislation.

One of the most disturbing aspects of the bill that passed 69-28 is the protection of any telecommunications companies from civil lawsuits revolving around phone taps put on regular citizens without any judicial over-site after the 9/11 attack. These companies gained immunity for their illegal actions. "This president broke the law." Stated Senator Russ Feingold (D-WIS.)

Although Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama came out in favor of an amendment that would have removed this immunity from the bill (they were defeated 66-32), he voted for it regardless.

The ACLU is fond of saying we can be safe and free - but if the government of this country and private business can join together and break the law without fear of legal retribution, well what chance do us little guys have of being able to protect ourselves? When this happens it's the government I fear, not some faceless terrorists.

Barack Obama is also trying to steal the religious zeal from the Republican Right by showing himself as a man of faith. Fine - but I believe coming out in favor of faith-based programs is a mistake. This infringes on the separation of Church and State, one of the cornerstones of this country. The Constitution must be upheld regardless of what direction the wind is blowing in. The direction changes rather quickly around here and the Constitution is more important than any one election, politician, political party, etc.

Does any of this mean I am going to vote for John McCain - of course not. Maybe this move to the middle is exactly what Barack Obama needs to win come November. There is a lot at stake in this election, but what it may mean is that his grassroots supporters are less willing to give of their time and money. The zeal and momentum might be lost. I don't think it's a coincidence that Obama raised less money in May than in any other month.

His campaign should pay attention. Media is expensive and one of the main reasons Obama came so far, so fast is because of the enthusiasm of the very people he is now alienating. Let's hope he can afford it - but I would be very nervous if I were on his staff right now. The Honeymoon may be coming to an end, but is the romance dead?

Refine v. Revise

Barack Obama had two press conferences last week to clarify his stance on Iraq after he said the inflammatory statement that he could "refine" his policy after assessing the situation there.

From Webster Encyclopedic Dictionary: refine - To reduce to a pure state. To free from impurities; to purify. To become pure or purer; to affect nicety or subtlety in thought or language.

But what's in the English language after all...

The McCain camp quickly condemned his competitor for changing his earlier stance.

"There appears to be no issue that Barack Obama is not willing to reverse himself on for the sake of political expedience," stated spokesman Alex Conant of the Republican National Committee. "Obama's Iraq problem undermines the central premise of his candidacy and shows him to be a typical politician."

McCain supported the ban on Coastal Oil Drilling in 2000 in the Primaries now he comes out for it - this is what I consider a flip-flop. There is no question in my mind that Barack Obama is against the war and always has been.

Is becoming more educated on subjects and adjusting your perspective really a liability for any campaign or is the McCain camp just trying to pin the flip-flop tag on Barack Obama from the playbook of Bush v. Kerry? The pot calling the kettle black I should think.

For clarification, here is what Barack Obama said in September of 2007 during a Democratic debate:

"I think it's hard to project four years from now, and I think it would be irresponsible," Obama said. "We don't know what contingency will be out there. What I can promise is that if there are still troops in Iraq when I take office, which it appears there may be unless we can get some of our Republican colleagues to change their mind and cut off funding without a timetable, if there's no timetable, then I will drastically reduce our presence there to the mission of protecting our embassy, protecting our civilians and making sure that we're carrying out counterterrorism activities there.

'I believe that we should have all our troops out by 2013, but I don't want to make promises not knowing what the situation's going to be three or four years out."

Sounds the same...doesn't it? When someone finds out what all the fuss is maybe they could let me know.

The Call Heard Round the World

Tuesday, Bill Clinton called Barack Obama. No one can really know the content of the call except those on the phone and anyone listening...still the speculation was all over the news.

Westly Clark's comments were there, as were Obama's patriotism speech, but it was this call that captured my imagination.

How the two men will heal their past wounds real or imagined and what Bill Clinton's role will be in the upcoming election is hard to tell. Certainly Bill Clinton has a role to play.

I think ultimately how large the role Clinton plays and how successful he is at it, is entirely up to him. Can he get past his bitterness? That is what I want to know. Can he re-invent himself one more time, Madonna like, to remain relevant and weave his Clinton magic?

When Clinton was at his best he was something to see. I don't want to remember him on the trail for Hillary, which has evoked such remarks as "bizarre", "ill-tempered and ill-founded", and "not keeping with the image of a former president."

On the campaign trail no one in modern history could create momentum like Bill, except perhaps Barack and to this mix a Hillary, sans the "I'm the toughest man in the room" armor and add possibly a Colin Powell...now that's a yellow brick road I would like to skip down.

Bush's Parting Gift to Big Oil

In 1990 George H. W. Bush signed a presidential executive order banning coastal oil exploration. The Congressional moratorium was first enacted in 1982 and has been renewed every year since. In 1998, President Bill Clinton extended the offshore leasing prohibition until 2012. Until recently John McCain, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and other key Republicans including the President himself were outspoken proponents of the ban on drilling now they are singing a new tune.

"I know the Democratic leaders have opposed some of these policies in the past," stated the President, "Now that their opposition has helped drive gas prices to record levels, I ask them to reconsider their positions. If Congressional leaders leave for the Fourth of July recess without taking action, they will need to explain why $4-a-gallon gasoline is not enough incentive for them to act."

John McCain followed suit by stating in Huston that he now favors offshore drilling.

This morning I paid $84.84 for a tank of gas. The National average for the price of gas is currently $4.10 and will probably get worse before it gets better.

Big Oil currently has 41 million acres leased offshore (the number gets higher depending on your source) not currently being utilized and neither they nor the Saudis are working up to capacity. Prices sour and instead of easing the supply side of the old supply and demand equation they get the Republicans to scream to open up the parts of our coastline and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge which they are currently not allowed to touch.

Big Oil has been aggressively trying to open up ANWAR and the coasts for sometime. This crisis at the pump is a perfect opportunity to get the issue on the table one more time before the changing of the guard. Fool the public into thinking these off-limit areas would ease their suffering and Big Oil could get the prize they've sought for so long.

John W. Schoen of The Answer Desk at MSNBC explains that if work started drilling today in ANWAR production would peak in 2027. Hardly an immediate help.

Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) said in a statement, "This week's flip-flop on offshore oil drilling by President Bush and Senator John McCain is nothing more than a cynical campaign ploy that will do nothing to lower energy prices, and represents another big giveaway to oil companies already making billions in profits."

And of course this does nothing to get us off our addiction to oil. Like a Stanford student with her daddy's credit card the idea of the future or good decision doesn't enter into the question. One more fix, if only I can get one more fixsaid the junkie.

One has to ask, "Why the flip?" Clearly the energy question has become an election issue, maybe the election issue. Does the President and Presidential hopeful believe people's memories are that short and their rhetoric to blame Democrats will make it true? Won't people remember McCain was for this ban in his 2000 bid for the White House?

Maybe Big Oil knows that their game is up, but they want to make one more grab before the game changes to another sport? Maybe President Bush with his term waning and doubts over the party of the next President is trying to get a parting gift for his friends in oil. You never know when the favor will need be returned.

Habeas Corpus Rules the Day

The Supreme Court decided 5-4 last Thursday that foreign suspects held at Guantanamo have a right to challenge their detention in American Courts. "The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times," Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote for the majority in Boumediene v. Bush. "To hold that the political branches may switch the Constitution on or off at will would lead to a regime in which they, not this court, say 'what the law is,' Kennedy added.

McCain reacted by stating it was "one of the worst decisions in the history of this country."

Maybe I missed something in school, or maybe I don't understand the separation of powers between the three branches of our governmentbut I don't think so. This ruling seems to return us to the checks and balances that are necessary for this great country to operate as intended.

"The true measure of a society is how well it provides for it's weakest member." There is some confusion about whom this quote comes from, but I think of it often and wonder.I wonder about what playing the world bully in the hall says about us as a country. I fear ill. To say the people in our custody are not citizens does not comfort me. We must as a civilization treat everyone with respect and due process. To work by the assumption that tough and fair are mutually exclusive seems less than juvenile.

To say that our courts cannot find a cause to hold criminals nor terrorists seems ridiculous. Does anyone really believe if Osama Bin Laden were an American Citizen we would have no foundation to hold him, try him or find him guilty? I for one have faith in our Constitution and the rule of law. I have no confidence in anyone holding themselves above either the Constitution or laws of the land.

Justice Scalia went the furthest adding that we are, "at war with radical Islamists," and this ruling "will almost certainly cause more Americans to get killed. The nation will live to regret what the court has done today."

The claim of "judicial activism," I find up surd, as the interpretation of our laws and Constitution, despite the times, are exactly what the Supreme Court is charged with. Indeed, it is no reach of their responsibility, but exactly what they are charged with.

Barack Obama has called Guantanamo "a legal black hole." A black hole this ruling may indicate we are emerging from. Restraint on tyranny is a healthy sign as we must not indeed cannot rely on individuals always doing the right thing.

Obama Fights Whitey

Presidential Democratic Nominee Barack Obama last week launched a website,fightthesmears.com to combat the usual gossip and pettiness that seems to dog most high profile campaigns these days. The particular inflammatory gossip that inspired this counter-attack seems to be a persistent report claiming there is a video of Michelle Obama, "Blasting 'whitey' during a rant at Jeremiah Wright's church."

Never mind for a minute how ridiculous that claim is or that no one has been able to produce such a tape...

Although not resorting to launching a website, Republican Nominee John McCain asked on Friday that all candidates' wives be treated with respect. It seems Cindy McCain has had her own run-ins with the rumor mill.

Which brings about the questions, what constitutes fair play? And - How do we fight unsubstantiated and ridiculous rumors that pass as news?

In one of my favorite political movies "The Contender", Joan Allen almost losses her chance at becoming the first female Vice-President of The United States because she will not dignify rumors of sexual misconduct as a college student with a response. A Gandi, and a high road response to be sure but is it the right reaction in the 24 hour news cycle, internet, blogger world in which we now live?

Should one's private life be off limits once again?

I think if Cindy McCain has investments in Halliburton we should know about it, or if Michelle Obama stayed on the Wal-Mart Board after Barack criticized them - but the claim Cindy had a love child or Michelle was ranting about 'whitey' is not only untrue but out of the bounds of good taste.

What happens when news organizations report this petty smut on the news channels and talk shows?Intelligent people would be fools not to just turn off such channels and never listen to these programs again.

But, what if they do listen? We have a friend for instance who believes Fox News Channel is a reliable source for facts, a relative who gets his news from Lou Dobbs and another relative who believes lock stock and two smoking barrels that a candidate cannot win a Presidential Election without winning the "big" states.

What happened to common sense and independent judgment? It makes me crazy when people believe nonsense over good sense. When it is people I know and care about it makes me particularly crazy. I stopped reading "The Nation" magazine because in an article about legalizing marijuana such blatant lies were used to make a point that I never picked up the magazine again. It seems both sides are guilty of this indiscretion.

But what about speaking truth to power? I think Barack Obama may be on to something. Flat denials just seem like agreement and propaganda to me anymore. "I didn't inhale", insults my intelligence - but a replay of the facts or a request for proof of such rumors almost seems revolutionary in this day and age. I am so hungry for a direct, truthful answer that I hope Obama's website works and is just not wasted effort.

But maybe these questions just shouldn't be asked in the first place. What if Barack Obama or John McCain simply stated, "That question is not relevant and I refuse to answer questions wholly unconnected to this election". Would that help put the conversation back on the right track?

One can only hope.

Will the Real America Please Stand Up

It's down to Barack Obama and John McCain. The drama will play out now through November when not just a new President will be elected, but a new version of what it means to be an American.

One view offers inclusion, a strong middle class, standing in the world, an end to endless wars, choice for women and a hope for a new day in Washington D.C.

The other view offers exclusion, class privilege, standing alone in the world, endless war, government interference on women's reproductive rights, and more of the same in Washington D.C.

I remember learning about the founding of America in grade school and the great melting pot that we made up symbolized by New York City. Immigrants coming to these shores full of hope and work and from scratch building lives they couldn't have imagined in the bleak places from which they came.

It's a bit nostalgic I have to admit but I managed to keep this image of America with me through all my school days in the almost exclusively white, Christian, upper-middle class town of Sonoma to my mid-twenties and the truly diverse Los Angeles and years later in the cosmopolitan San Francisco.

I never thought about America as a mostly white, Christian sort of place but rather of people from all over, usually overcoming prejudice to find a welcome home here on these shores. Which is why the anti-immigration sentiment and violence is particularly shocking to me. History is made up of an endless stream of peoples migrating here and there from someplace else. To think of a country as the divine right of a certain nationality or religion seems ludicrous to me. Only to be outdone by people who truly believe God is on there personal side. What arrogance is this?

However I must admit that people have the right to their own image of America, no matter how distant from my own. They are fighting for that image with this election.

That's why I believe no matter how many people are loyal to Hillary, or turned of by McCain's liberality no one will risk staying home this time around. Everybody knows instinctively what is at stake and will fight to see his or her version of America come to light. Now November is a long way off and people's sentiment could change, but if I were either camp, I wouldn't count on it.

As Betty Davis states in All About Eve, "Fasten your seatbelts, we're in for a bumpy ride."

The Last Presidential Campaign

Barack Obama has me thinking a lot about horse racing lately. Maybe it's the timing of the primaries with the running of the Triple Crown. He was my favorite candidate right off in a busy field. I heard him speak once and I knew.

When I was a little kid my father used to take us to the racetrack at the county fair. We would wait until the horses came out and then pick one. He would bet two to five dollars for us and if our horse won we would be given the winnings. There were things you could tell about a horse by watching even for a short period of time that the stats and odds just couldn't reveal.

Barack Obama was a long shot but he got my bet anyway. My family all told me why he would never be the Democratic nominee and I just smiled and said we'll see.

I put my bumper sticker on my car and I went online and ponied up a small donation. I visited his table several times at the Farmer's Market and even went to a meeting hoping to volunteer - but that's another story.

Politics in America is a lot like horse racing right now - it's in crisis. We've seen a lot of our politicians break down in very public way in the last few years. And we just don't trust them - but it's worse, we are beginning to question their worth in the first place. Do we really need them? There must be a better wayLike our athletes and drug use we just don't know if we should admire anyone anymore. And where does all that money come from anyway? It's enough to make anyone cynical and uneasy.

Just when we're about to throw in the towel on the whole mess along comes a new kid on the block. Like watching Big Brown run he takes our breath away and despite ourselves we start cheering, exhilarated like kids again. Instead of a doubtful sport in a broken down, smarmy fair where the more unsavory elements live, we again see the magic and feel a quickening inside. Go Barack, Go. Can this be unbridled enthusiasm?

If he wins the whole show, we will clap our hands together three times and say, "I believe". If he breaks his leg in the final stretch- it will mean so much more than the loss of one candidate in one Presidential Race.

For Better or For Worse

How will the issue of same sex marriage effect the upcoming Presidential election? It's hard to say. One-issue voting certainly gained popularity with the whole abortion debateand some people absolutely believe that Bush is in the White House rather than Gore because of this one issue.

But how do you gauge how it will effect an entire election? People are undoubtedly passionate about this issue. I am not, which may make me the wrong person to write this piece, or maybe exactly the right person. You see the only thing I've been passionate about the whole marriage issue is stridently trying to avoid it.

Marriage is an institution, one I don't trust. It may have something to do with the fact that in my small class of maybe thirty students give or take which started first grade together at St. Francis Solono School, most parents were divorced by the time we graduated high school. Until death do us partwas definitely not true. My parents were among the divorced and let's just say that event was not a pretty sight.

I believe this to be the equivalent of pulling out the rug from under the feet of an entire generation. I'm not saying I'll never get married, I'm just saying when and if I do, it will be on my terms and not because it is what's expected of me.

So I never rushed to the altar or spent a large part of my youth envisioning that special day which always makes hearing people longing for such an event a strange concept to me. No one has ever seemed more committed to the concept of for better or for worse than the gay couples I have known over the years. Maybe they are such fans of the concept because they were always told they were excluded from this particular tradition.

In many ways they seem to be keeping the flame of commitment to another human being alive. I'm not saying I don't have any heterosexual friends who are married, but the truth is many are divorced once maybe twice and the ones that aren't hold their partners at a certain arms length. I'm not innocent here - I definitely believe in the concept of for better much more than for worse. I feel very comfortable with the fact that I can always leave. Now with a little bambino on the way, and with years rolling by that gets much more unlikely all the time, but still I hedge my bets.

The best example I ever had of true love was Randy and Rand. I worked with Randy and he had AIDS. His partner gently reminded him to take his medication and made him nutritious meals every day, including the lunch he brought with him to work. I never say a stronger to commitment between people in my entire life before or since. The way they took care of each other was truly inspirational. You may say they made me believe in love again and I am very grateful for the lesson however non-traditional it may have been. They would have gotten married if they were able, but it wasn't even part of the national debate at the time.

Our neighbors down the street moved several years ago. They were a gay couple who owned a home together and had recently adopted two crack babies that otherwise probably would have lived in state care until they were eighteen. The odds of them being independent adults were never very good under these circumstances. However, they had been given a second chance, and now had grandmothers concerned for their welfare, good schools to go to, proper nutrition and adequate help for any lingering physical and emotional problems they face. I like their odds a whole lot more now. There are no guarantees in life, but I feel they have a fighting chance.

I have some friends who will be getting married shortly after a twenty-year wait. They own a home, have investments, dogs and a camping trailer. Twenty years is a long time to be committed to another person and I believe they should be allowed to get married just like the rest of us. It's not a dogma thing, or a religious thing, I just think it's a matter of basic fairness.

If religions want to exclude people, or clubs that is their right but our government was founded on separation of church and state and I just don't see how the government can legally do this without violating civil rights. If two adults want to make a commitment for better or for worse I think good for them and good for society as a whole. Their divorce rate maybe as high as the rest of the population, but no one ever said gay marriage would be more successful.

I think any two adults walking down the aisle is extremely courageous and they have my vote. I just hope fear of this issue won't drive this election and sway it for the worse. Another four years of Republican rule would just about bankrupt us in more ways than one.

The Audacity of Barack Obama

I remember the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and the absolute disbelief I felt the day the Supreme Court decided the election, George W. Bush would be our next sitting President of the United States of America. For six months each and every day I awoke with renewed shock and denial. How could this happen in my country, how could "that man" be President? The best man by far didn't win, and I couldn't understand it.

My belief in everything noble, just and right was severely shaken to its core and an instinct for flight I never knew existed rose inside of mepure emotionget out, get out while you can. Was this really me contemplating moving out of the land of my birth?

I won't recap the highlights between that fateful day and now. Everyone is familiar enough with recent history and frankly I don't think my own morale could withstand such a walk down memory lane - suffice it to say my pride in America and her standing in the world at large have suffered many blows. I know this all sounds a bit melodramatic, something I strive vigorously to avoid, but at risk is no less than my belief in the goodness of my own country.

And now there is a new kid in town promising to rise to the magnitude of our challenges rather than be distracted by the petty and trivial. He has a message and a vision and is not in a state of constant reaction to his rival's barbs, conventional wisdom, constant attacks or the disappointing distraction of the media and political pundits. He doesn't profess to have all the answers we so desperately want and need, rather he seems ready for something that hasn't taken place in this country in I can't recall how longa healthy National debate about the real issues facing us in the world today. No finger pointing, just good old-fashioned hard work.

Barack Obama's audacity to speak the truth and keep as clear from compromising his integrity as possible is a breath of fresh air. The truth I've told myself from the beginning is that her may not win, but another truth is that no political contest has come close to the importance in my own lifetime as this one. This election has the opportunity to redeem my country in my own eyes. To wake up again in America and live my life with the confidence that someone is minding the store.

Please let me wake up in a country where the best man wins. Let me awake in an America where the little guy has a shot and honesty is still the best policy. Let me wake up in an America of war only as a last resort, and America that puts people ahead of profits and where the word decency isn't sniggered at cynically. Where companies and accounting firms don't cheat and Politians don't put the desires of the lobbyists ahead of the needs of the people or common sense. Let me awake in a country where lining the pockets of friends and relatives isn't more important than the lives of our courageous armed forces. Let me wake up in an America where greed isn't a virtue and immigrants aren't looked at as criminals. Let me wake up in the America of my youth - or at least the vision of what she could and should be that I have been searching for all these years and nearly given up on.

Barack Obama's Audacity is that he has renewed my hope in this country. Let me wake up in an American where my pride once again lives.

I Coulda Been A Contender...

I coulda been a contender...

And she was.

On Saturday, as planned, Hillary Clinton ended her historic bid for the Democratic Presidential nomination. She couldn't deliver the knock out punch and instead, much to her surprise, delivered a concession speech. And what a speech it was. Had she run her campaign for all eighteen months as her speech, had she been as unifying, as historic, it may have been someone else giving the concession speech. But that was not her campaign.

The debate on why her campaign ended and when it should have ended began in earnest on Tuesday. I've read many reasons why her bid was unsuccessful, her distain for the media, letting Howard Dean in to run the party and even her cool relationship with Nancy Pelosi to name just a few.

I feel you just can't overestimate the damage voting for the war in Iraq has done her. Not just that but her belligerent reluctance in admitting she may have made a mistake, and then pointing at the Bush Administration and shouting "but they lied to me!" There was also arrogance about having to be accountable to the people that too closely resembled the current Administration for my taste.

I believe it was for political reasons that Hillary voted for the war, not because she was fooled and certainly not because she thought it was the right thing to do. But I digress...

But was it the woman thing? Hillary would have us believe this is the reason, but I'm not so sure. Listen I would like to see a woman in the White House as much as the next modern independent woman, but it matters to me what woman. I didn't vote for Barack Obama because I wanted a black President. I voted for Barack because I wanted him to be the President.

I want it to be the same when I cast my first vote for a female running for the Presidency. I want my candidate to be authentic, a quality I feel Hillary sorely lacks. For one, she is a politician, which certainly gets in the way of authenticity and then first and foremost she is a lawyer. I've know many lawyers in my time and one thing I've seen over and over is a penchant for always running into any situation sword drawn even if this happens to be the least appropriate response required. In fact it is almost always the wrong response.

Then there is the whole I am tougher, smarter, work harder, can out debate, out drink and am more male than any man. Any woman working in America today is filled with discrimination stories. It's unfortunate, but a reality we live with. However the survival technique of "I'm more male than any man" is like any other survival skill. It may be helpful in certain situations, but it is reactionary and limits the choices a person has. It also shows a defensiveness which, can be easily manipulated.

I want the first female President of The United States Of America to be comfortable in her own skin, someone that doesn't have a chip on her shoulder, nor anything to prove to herself or anyone else.

Most of all I want her to believe that being a woman is just a fact about herself, like her age, education and hair color, not something that needs to be overcome. I want a candidate that is confident about what she brings to the table and does not feel she needs to make up for her feminine qualities, but know it's just these qualities that make her who she is.

Then, maybe, that knockout blow will come as gently as a kiss and everyone will wonder...how did she do that?

I Coulda Been A Contender...

And she was.

On Saturday, as planned, Hillary Clinton ended her historic bid for the Democratic Presidential nomination. She couldn't deliver the knock out punch and instead, much to her surprise, delivered a concession speech. And what a speech it was. Had she run her campaign for all eighteen months as her speech, had she been as unifying, as historic, it may have been someone else giving the concession speech. But that was not her campaign.

The debate on why her campaign ended and when it should have ended began in earnest on Tuesday. I've read many reasons why her bid was unsuccessful, her distain for the media, letting Howard Dean in to run the party and even her cool relationship with Nancy Pelosi to name just a few.

I feel you just can't overestimate the damage voting for the war in Iraq has done her. Not just that but her belligerent reluctance in admitting she may have made a mistake, and then pointing at the Bush Administration and shouting "but they lied to me!" There was also arrogance about having to be accountable to the people that too closely resembled the current Administration for my taste.

I believe it was for political reasons that Hillary voted for the war, not because she was fooled and certainly not because she thought it was the right thing to do. But I digress

But was it the woman thing? Hillary would have us believe this is the reason, but I'm not so sure. Listen I would like to see a woman in the White House as much as the next modern independent woman, but it matters to me what woman. I didn't vote for Barack Obama because I wanted a black President. I voted for Barack because I wanted him to be the President.

I want it to be the same when I cast my first vote for a female running for the Presidency. I want my candidate to be authentic, a quality I feel Hillary sorely lacks. For one, she is a politician, which certainly gets in the way of authenticity and then first and foremost she is a lawyer. I've know many lawyers in my time and one thing I've seen over and over is a penchant for always running into any situation sword drawn even if this happens to be the least appropriate response required. In fact it is almost always the wrong response.

Then there is the whole I am tougher, smarter, work harder, can out debate, out drink and am more male than any man. Any woman working in America today is filled with discrimination stories. It's unfortunate, but a reality we live with. However the survival technique of "I'm more male than any man" is like any other survival skill. It may be helpful in certain situations, but it is reactionary and limits the choices a person has. It also shows a defensiveness which, can be easily manipulated.

I want the first female President of The United States Of America to be comfortable in her own skin, someone that doesn't have a chip on her shoulder, nor anything to prove to herself or anyone else.

Most of all I want her to believe that being a woman is just a fact about herself, like her age, education and hair color, not something that needs to be overcome. I want a candidate that is confident about what she brings to the table and does not feel she needs to make up for her feminine qualities, but know it's just these qualities that make her who she is.

Then, maybe, that knockout blow will come as gently as a kiss and everyone will wonderhow did she do that?

Game Over

Bill Clinton knows it and is jockeying for a VP gig for his wife. Obama knows it and is himself searching for a VP candidate while his strategists have turned their sights on the fight with John McCain. Bush knows and is attacking Obama in foreign countries. McCain and Obama are courting Clinton's financial backers and the Clinton and Obama teams are talking merger. Even Maureen Dowd knows it.

It seems everyone knows that Hillary's bid for the White House is overexcept for Hillary. Her reason for not quitting changes bi-weekly with this week's snafu referring to the historic: RFK, her husband and June and Feminism: staying in for the moral lesson for the young women supporting her.

Every time I read one of these articles where Hillary reminds us the contest is not yet over, I can't but help hear the sound effect in my head at the end of a Packman video game eewwwwhooooo-blip-blip and the flashing words "Game Over".

My feelings for Hillary have gone through a slow, painful metamorphous over the years and I can't help but wonder how I will think of her in say ten years. Her not exiting this race gracefully I doubt will help her on this score.

STRAIGHT FORWARD is what I thought the first time I saw Hillary on the 1992 60 minutes interview. She sat next to Bill, then the Presidential hopeful, answering question directly and frankly. When asked specifically about Gennifer Flowers, she unblinkingly turned to her husband with a - why don't you take this one Bill look. I was shocked to hear him proceed to promptly lie. At the time I liked her and did not like him. Her Tammy Wynette comment didn't bother me a bit despite the media furor and I had no idea at the time the accent was fake.

BITTER is how she sounded when she made her quip about not being the kind of woman who stays home and bakes cookies. It didn't bother me that she didn't bake cookies, I mean who cares. It was her defensiveness that really turned me off. Why not just talk about what she was, rather than attack what she wasn't in turn pissing off a large segment of the voting population?

INTELLIGENT is what I thought, maybe the smartest person in the room, as she sat testifying about her Universal Health Care recommendations. Her knowledge of the facts and self-confidence was inspiring and earned my deep respect, even if she didn't accomplish her own goals on healthcare.

DISHONEST ishow I began to see Hillary as a New York Senator (yes I am purposely skipping the Monica Lewinsky and Whitewater episode). It isn't that I objected to her frolicking with the enemy or compromising, it was who seemed to benefit most from her trade offs, mainly her.

ROCKBOTTOM was what I thought the day she voted to give her Senatorial power away and let Bush declare a unilateral war if he so desired. "Iraq both poses a continuing threat to the national security of the United States and international peace and security in the Persian Gulf region and remains in material and unacceptable breach of it's international obligations by, among other things, continuing to possess and develop a significant chemical and biological weapons capability, actively seeking a nuclear weapons capability and supporting and harboring terrorist organizations."

On this day she lost my vote. I mean if I could tell this obsession with Saddam Hussein had no merit from my proximity to Washington (no where near) how could such a smart woman not know? I even called her office to let her staffers know how deep my displeasure went. My regard for her, I doubt can ever recover, yet I didn't think my feelings for her could go any lower, and yet

SORE LOSER is how she is appearing to me now. Everyone, it seems hates a sore loser. Also, arrogant enough to completely ignore reality and those supporters closest to her (and it seems the rest of the world) that attempt to give her council.

My way or the highwayit sort of reminds me of someone else

6 Steps To Fame